Thursday, September 24, 2015

Code Black: Reality Squad

"What happens in the ER when there are too many patients and not enough resources? It's called a Code Black!" Tagline for a new CBS show that actually looks good. But, it cracks me up. Too many patients and not enough resources? Honey, that's called healthcare everywhere. Here's what we really have, in a show I'll call:

Code Black: Reality Squad

Multiple groups in healthcare. We'll start in a nursing home:

"Here, take care of this huge group of patients with almost no nurses or techs, a few ancient pieces of equipment and do it for almost no money.... and GO!" Yeah. For sweeps week, they'll show what happens when State comes in and tells you that you should be spending a certain amount of time per patient on patient care or it's neglect. And, then tell you they'll reimburse you less money than it costs to just pay for the salaries of enough people to do that, not to mention the equipment and supplies. This runs with a subplot where a stranger no one has ever seen shows up and starts screaming and making threats. No, silly... it's not a terrorist! It's a patient's family member... that no one has seen or heard from in the 8 years the patient has been there! But, plot twist... she now wants to tell you how terrible you are at your job, because her Mom looks MUCH worse than the last time she saw her! 8 years ago!

Season finale will focus on a group of bedraggled nurses & other patient care staff in a hospital, being told how lucky they are to have a job, and that there's just not enough money to hire additional staff or give raises. In the background, you see the lobby being remodeled with granite flooring and a water feature (later plot development will reveal this is the 6th full remodel of said lobby in 12 years...). At the end, show the hospital CEO driving into the sunset in a Bentley.

Another subplot through all the series will be non-traditional healthcare settings: in a jail medical department, where you get to see zany fun like a 3 time murderer passing out while getting his TB test, or nurses taking care of critically ill patients with the most advanced piece of diagnostic equipment available being a pulse oximeter unit from amazon.com. In an inner city downtown clinic staffed mostly by students and a few senior staff members. It will show them giving samples of a $200 per pill new drug to a patient so the pharmaceutical company can get a kickback, and explaining to the patient that in a month or two, they'll have to change their meds, because the pharma company won't give them samples after their tax break threshold is met, and they'll have to go back to taking generics they can afford. And, lastly a group of home health nurses and providers taking care of 11 patients in 6 hours, and then going home and doing paperwork for another 5, only to get paid for 4 hours, and reimbursed less in mileage than the gas cost to get you to the patient's house. Cue a musical montage of staff going thru patient's cabinets trying to find something to feed the patient, since their family members didn't have time to come by and bring them groceries this week, and in this rural area, nowhere delivers food.

Like I said, the show looks like it will be interesting, but as a nurse with a twisted sense of humor, I'm pretty sure everyone in healthcare lives Code Black every day!