On March 3, 2010 I was diagnosed with Diabetes, Type 2. The diagnosis itself came as no surprise. I'm obese. Both my parents are diabetics. I have a lousy diet, I hate vegetables. I never exercise. So, I'd been wary of how my lifestyle would eventually catch up with me. What caught me by surprise was just HOW diabetic I was. A normal HgbA1c http://www.diabeteshome.ca/hemoglobin-a1c.php is around 5. Diabetic is over 7. Dangerously Diabetic is over 8. I rang the prize bell at 10.6. I actually sat in the doctor's office as he told me and kept saying, "Holy shit." Eloquent, no. But, let me tell you... it was heartfelt. Holy shit indeed.
I am a nurse. I have taken care of diabetics for years. In their senior years, I have seen what happens to uncontrolled or poorly controlled diabetics. Open sores on their feet, leading to gangrene, leading to amputation. Blindness. Heart attacks. Strokes. I'm already hypertensive (high blood pressure), so my risk of heart attack and stroke are already high. Now, it's worse.
I do not want to lose my feet. I don't want to be blind. I don't want to feel like crap all the time. I'm only 37, and I do not want to die. How's that for honesty?
So, there I was. Hemoglobin A1c at 10.6. Weight at 268 pounds (at 5'4"... Yeah, I know). Glucose at over 300. The doctor (someone I have known, work with and trust) told me, "Emily, I could send you to a nutritionist, but you know what to do." He was right. I had to change. I couldn't get anyone to do this for me. I had to do it myself. And, instead of worrying about everyone else, and trying to be everyone else's nurse... I had to "heal" myself.
On my way home from the doctor's office, I stopped at Earth Fare. I knew carbs are the devil to diabetics, so I bought meat, cheese and salads. I hate veggies, so I figured I'd let them figure out what kinds of things I could mix together and they'd work. I was very correct. I have discovered Live Dark Green salad and Cleansing Fennel salad. Both are excellent and both are A-OK for diabetics.
Then, I got home, I went online. I hit every diabetes website I could find. Turns out, a lot of my knowledge of diabetic diets is obsolete. Back in my day, we did the 1800 calorie ADA as a gold standard. They've moved away from that to carb counting and such. It takes into account that not everyone eats the same thing. But, as a newly diagnosed person, it's a little harder to nail down what exactly I need to eat. So, on with the search.
As a nerd, research is power. As a Diabetic Nerd, I went book hunting. I am now the proud owner of 3 diabetic cookbooks and a book titled " The First Year: Type 2 Diabetes" by Gretchen Becker. She writes from a Diabetic's point of view, not a nurse or doc point of view. So, it comes highly recommended and what I have read so far is really informative. I am already highlighting and using post-it flags.
I have drastically changed my diet. Smaller portions. Very little "premade" food, which I have found out by label reading is chock full o' carbs. Almost no carbs. Lean meats. Salads, veggies, fresh fruit, yogurt (Kroger makes a CARBMaster yogurt that has only 3 carbs. Most other yogurt can go as high as 18... yikes), cheese, low fat milk, whole wheat grains for what little carbs I do get. Yeah, totally different from my usual. Holy crap. Total life change.
Oh, and did I mention I now need to exercise? Research has shown that diabetics do better controlling their blood sugars when they exercise. So, here we go. O.H.S time again. Ugh. Have I mentioned I loathe any form of physical activity? Even as a kid, when other kids were out playing tag, I much preferred to be inside (in the Air Conditioning, thank you) reading a book. I'm not a total sloth. I walk a lot at work, and I can walk your butt off when I'm shopping. But, as for exercise... I hate it. It's evil. TOO BAD.
So, I'm walking each day. To complicate this, one of the heart meds I am on will make me short of breath rather quickly with exertion. So, I gotta start really slow and build up. Right now, I'm just walking up and down the driveway at my apartment complex every afternoon. Sometimes twice. That is such a pathetically small amount. But, it's much more than what I was doing.
They say a key to overcoming Diabetes is support. If that is true, I should be able to make IT say O.H.S. I called Chad in a total stun from the doc's office. He had to work that night, but he told me right then and there that whatever he had to do to help me, he would. And, he has. He has bought me a tiny grill that I can use when it's just me (our other grill is absolutely HUGE and takes forever to heat up). He's grilled out, he's lugged in bag after bag of groceries. My friends have had me over and have asked me what I can eat and cooked accordingly. I have 30 plus FB comments from when I announced my Diabetes that are encouraging me, pointing me to websites, magazines, cookbooks, etc. At church, when I announced my Diabetes as a prayer request, several folks came up to me and offered me help, or even just said, "I know you can do it."
Of course, as a nurse, I am used to needles. Who on earth knew that I had a little phobia about them? I did not know this. I do not mind anyone giving me a shot. I'm A-okay with that. Doesn't phase me. But, apparently, using any sort of sharp on myself is another story. I tried every single morning for a whole week to poke my own finger to check my blood sugar. I mean, sitting there with the lancet in my hand... waiting. Finger poised mere air between it and the stabbing point. Could. Not. Do. It. How embarrassing to have to go to one of my nurses and say, "Um.. can you do this? 'Cause I can't." Thankfully, they understand me. And, they checked my sugar each morning.
Speaking of glucometers, do you have any idea how expensive they are? They are FREE. Great, right?! Let me tell you WHY the damn things are free. Because they charge you a FORTUNE for the stupid strips that go in them. Holy Cow. $50 for 50 strips is about the base. The free meter I received first (I've ordered every single one I could find so I can figure out which one works best for me) is the Breeze 2. It's way cool. It spits out a strip off of a disc, you don't even have to load one! Tiny amount of blood needed (not that it matters so far, as I bleed like a pig every time I get stuck). Works in 5 seconds. The strips are $67 for 50. O.H.S. again. But, the good news is, it comes with a free lancet, too. One that hides the pointy part. I just push the button and it does the rest. I still have to do a few deep breathing exercises, but I can finally stick myself.
So, where does all this leave me? Today is March 14th. I have been a Diabetic (officially) for 11 days. I have lost 17 pounds. My blood sugar has dropped to the 150s for the most part (up to 174, down to 133, but mostly in the 150s). I own 3 cookbooks, a reference book, a glucometer. I have 3 more glucometers on order. I have ordered a med alert bracelet. I have a prescription for glucophage (that's a blog for another day... great medication with one really bad side effect) and am taking it like clockwork. I am walking beyond what is necessary for point A to point B. I stick my own fingers. I have announced my disease and my need for support to the universe.
And, now, I have a blog.
Wish me luck. I have to go and walk.
Love,
Emily
PS The name of this blog is a play on my having too much sugar in my blood. So, I am too sweet. I joked to Chad that if you drank my blood it would probably taste like Maple syrup given the amount of sugar in there.
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