Sunday, March 13, 2011

Interviewing: the scary part, with Auntie Em

Well, your concisely written resume (which, along with your cover letter was customized for each place you sent it, right??) and your accurately completed application have landed you the interview. This is the part that makes the vast majority of people want to throw up. There will be weird questions that throw you off. There will be someone you have never met, with whom you have to carry on a conversation and convince you are exactly what they want (and seem friendly, but not too friendly. Professional but not aloof. Perfect, but not better than the interviewer). Honestly, just typing this makes me queasy, and I am really good at being interviewed. I have never interviewed for a job and not gotten it (well, with the exception of the one interview I walked out on. And, yes, I told you not to do that, but hey... do as I say, okay?). I'm going to give you information I've gleaned from both sides of the desk, both as interviewer of hundreds and she who has had over 13 jobs (and interviewed for many more than that).

Go in dressed well. I don't care if you are applying for a job that never wears dress clothes. Wear them. You don't have to have a 3 piece suit or a dress (unless you are interviewing for a job that has those as their normal dress code). But, dress nicely. Nurses wear scrubs in the vast majority of their jobs. But, you should still come dressed in dress pants and a nice shirt, at the very least. If you come in your scrubs, it better be because you just got off work. You are showing me that you respect the job and the place of employment enough to put forth some efforts. If you come in jeans, you are not making a good impression on me. If they are torn jeans, your interview is over before it started. Your hair and makeup need to be neat and understated. No peacock-like hair or night club eyeshadow.

Along with the no jeans rule, do not wear anything revealing, low-cut shirts or barely-there skirts. Nothing sheer, nothing tight. Make sure your clothes match (I do NOT have good luck with that, myself. I have worn scrubs for so long I can't even dress myself any more. That's why I wear dresses to interview. It's one piece. Add hose and the only thing I have to match are my shoes.

Oh, and let's talk about shoes. No spike heels, no hooker boots. No flip-flops. If you are wearing sandals, make sure your toenails are neat and that you do not have terrifying callouses on your feet. I worked with a woman once who had the SCARIEST feet in the world. Seriously, she practically had hooves. If I would have been interviewing her, she'd have never gotten past me with those things. Fair? No. But, seriously... feet freak me out!!!

Now, you look like a million bucks. As you are heading out the door, make sure you have your resume, any paperwork they asked you to bring or that you would like to share with the interviewer. Make sure you have a pen or twelve (what if one dries out? Be prepared!). If you use reading glasses, bring them.

Get there no more than 5 minutes early. If I tell you to be there at 10, and you are there at 9:30am, I'm going to try to not keep you waiting, so I'm going to be rushing. If I'm in a rush, I will not be as relaxed and receptive. Early is good in a lot of ways, but really early is not. If you show up late, it is the death knell for your interview, unless there has been a massive explosion and/or zombie invasion that blocked traffic. Tardiness always gets worse the longer someone works somewhere. If you cannot be there in time for the interview, I can only imagine the time your coworkers are going to be wasting waiting on you to show up. And, when your coworkers get mad, I have to listen to them complain.

When you walk in the door, greet whomever is there, nicely and professionally. With a smile. Be polite, and if they initiate small talk, work it. If you are abrupt with them, they're going to tell me after you leave. If you are rude to my happy little peeps, I will get you and your little dog, too. :-)

When you meet me, shake my hand. Now this is where it gets tricky. I've had countless talks with people who hire others, and we all agree on something. If you have a lousy handshake, you are going to have to work really hard to get past it. By a good handshake, I mean firm, but not bone-crushing. None of that limp dead-fish stuff. And, don't do that thing where you hold your hand out to me palm down. You know, as if you are offering it to me to kiss. You're not the queen or the pope. You need to extend your hand to me sideways, palm in. Hold the handshake until I start to pull away. Do NOT do that spooky thing where you hold my hand like we are prom dates. Seriously, it makes me think you are a serial killer. Likewise, do not do the double clasp. Unless you are planning to wrestle me for the job, one hand is plenty.

Wait to sit until I motion for you to, or until I sit down myself. It wouldn't bother me, but I've heard several hiring managers complain that the person came in and flopped down in a chair like they owned the place. So, go in slow! Also, don't slouch or sit like you are planning to pop out of the seat and run. Comfortable and relaxed is key.

Let me guide the conversation. Do not EVER interrupt me, or finish my sentences. Again, this isn't my pet peeve, but it is for most managers. Pause before you answer a question. Think it through.

Let the personality of the interviewer set the tone of your interview. If they are all business, do not cut up. They may have no sense of humor and are not going to appreciate yours. If they do cut up, laugh at their jokes. Not that scary, hyena laugh, just a good laugh. No matter how casual your interviewer is, do not curse or bad mouth your former employer. Don't mention drinking habits or any partying ways.

If you hated your job, and your boss was an evil zombie troll, you dont' have to pretend to love them. But, don't call them a bitch and say you hated it. Just say that you loved the type of job you did, but it wasn't challenging enough or the company seemed to have a dynamic you just didn't fit into. Or, even that you are looking to do something completely different, if you are applying for a job different than your last one.

There are a lot of standard questions you will be asked. I am so sick of them, and know that most people know they are coming, so I refuse to use them in an interview. But, most people will. So, here's the most common one:

Why are you interested in this job? This is where you indicate that you have a good understanding of both the job and the company. Tell them what you like about their company, what sounds good about the job. Tell them what you have done in the past that will help you meet that company's goals.

Why are you leaving your current job? Be honest, but nice. See above.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I'd rather eat vegetables than answer this question. I see myself as a lottery winner in Maui. But, I don't think that is what they want to hear. Seriously, why does anyone ask this? But, they do. Here is what they want to hear. They want you to tell them that you see yourself still there, but advancing yourself. Not into management or into their job (unless those are the jobs you are already applying for), but advancing in knowledge, maybe taking some classes.

What are your strengths? Hit on the key points they mentioned in the ad. If it says someone with great IV skills, point out yours. If it says you need to be proficient with MS Office, point out how much you have done with it. If the ad was vague, point out how you are always punctual, you always complete work timely, you have always had good reviews, you have good leadership skills, etc.

What are your weaknesses? This is the only question I hate more than the 5 year question. Seriously, it sucks. What kind of idiot tells you that they're weak, but that's what they are asking. Use this question to again play up your strengths. "Oh, I hate paperwork, I think most nurses do, but I am good at it!"  or "I am nowhere near as comfortable with Excel as I am PowerPoint, but I actually took a class in Excel recently and am doing so much better." Even if your weakness is that you hate people and really don't ever want to work again, it's best not to mention that. Gloss over it. :-)

What kind of salary do you need (or similar)? Be honest with them, but try to hedge a little. You do not want to low-ball it. I always offer what is there, no matter if the person tells me they will take less. But, there are a lot of people who may be able to offer you $27 an hour, but will gladly give you the $16 you just told them you'd take. When they ask, you can smile and ask, "You know, I've been out of the market for a while, I'm not even sure what the going rate is for my position. What do you usually start people out at for this job?" But, if they push you, tell them what you really have to have. You cannot take the job for less than you need, so don't offer to do so.

Do you have any questions? You think this should be easy. It isn't. You should have questions. There is no way that I took 30 or 45 minutes and told you everything you should know about the job. Ask me how long orientation is. Ask me how many offices we have. Ask me something that makes you sound intelligent. Do not ask me about how long you have to be there before you can take vacation or how liberal our casual Friday policy is. Don't ask me what our policy is on workplace romance. It's a business, not e-Harmony. Don't ask questions that make you sound like an idiot or a lazy bum.

Other questions will be thrown at you. I tend to just get the person very relaxed and cut up with them, while describing the job. I watch for their facial expressions as I explain the job. If they look nervous, that means they are cautious. If they look terrified, they will never make it. If they are going to let something slip that I need to know, they'll do it while they are relaxed. My technique is unusual, but for me it works. Most people think I am the easiest person in the world to interview with. But, I learn a lot.

Okay, you survived the interview. Hopefully, you didn't curse, burp, scratch yourself, tell me your ex-boss was Satan or tell me you were going to work here just long enough to get benefits and then claim work comp or get pregnant. When I stand to walk you out, stand, shake my hand again and thank me for my time. I should tell you when you will hear from me, but if I don't feel free to ask ("When will you make a decision?" is simple and easy and doesn't sound snotty. If you ask, "When will you let me know if I get the position?" might set some folks off. Not me, but some. "When will I get the job?" would even weird me out).

If you brought anything you thought was relevant to the job, ASK if they would like to see it. I had a person recently accost me with a huge binder of everything they'd ever done in their lives. Every notice of praise, every class they'd taken. I hadn't asked for it, and didn't need it. She'd never done correctional nursing, so most of her basic nursing skills were all I needed to know. Everything else is unique to corrections. It was a little uncomfortable. I had to thumb through the thing to save her feelings. It didn't make me not hire her, but it did waste my time. If she'd have asked, I'd have told her I didn't really need to see it.

After you leave, follow up in a day or two, if you haven't heard from me. By phone is best. But, if the person you interviewed with has sent you multiple emails prior to your interview, you can do email.

A lot of people recommend sending a Thank You note, but I have never sent one myself, nor received one. It's a little antiquated. But, again, it's up to you. It won't make you look bad if you do, but probably no one would notice if you didn't.

I wish I could be more helpful with this part, since it is the part that scares the bejeebers out of everyone. But, everyone interviews differently, and asks different questions.

The best advice I can give you is to be relaxed but professional. Answer questions, carry on a conversation if they seem to want you to. Don't babble. Don't bad mouth. Talk yourself up, but don't overinflate what you do or what skills you have.

If you receive notice that you did not get the job, and you wonder WHY, call up the hiring manager. Don't sound angry, and for Lord's sake, do not CRY. Just approach them in a straightforward manner. "Hi, this is Jane Doe, and I interviewed with you on April 12th. I understand you've picked another candidate. I'm still looking for a job, and I'd appreciate it if you could give me any tips that might help me down the road. Anything on my resume or during my interview that might have made me a less than ideal candidate? I really appreciate it."  If someone would call me and ask that, I would be honest with them.

If you receive notice you got the job... Way To Go!!! Now, send me half your first check as a thank you.
:-)

Oh, and show up on time your first day (and pack a lunch, just in case you don't get to leave the building for lunch. I once got a job and worked 12 hours without food because I didn't know I couldn't leave and didn't want to look like a jerk asking. I was really hungry when I got out that night!!!).

More Job Tips from Auntie Em

OK, here's the next stop... you go and fill out an application. How hard can it be, right??  You'd be surprised.

First of all, READ the application all the way through and follow the directions PERFECTLY. If the application says you must attach proof of something (for instance, a copy of your high school transcript), then do it. Don't think you'll bring it in later or if you think that you don't have to do it. They will throw your application into the "No way" pile. If you can't follow instructions while you are trying to impress them, chances are you are going to suck at following them when you've been there a while.

Do NOT leave a blank, unless it is absolutely necessary. Write "not applicable" or even the short form "NA" if you have to. If there is something less than favorable you have to list, such as reason for leaving and you were fired, Do not give into the temptation to write something there such as "I'll explain later" or "I'll explain in person". When I see these, ti is never a good sign. Usually I get some completely insane explanation to go with it. Or, I figure out within 2 seconds why they got fired. Due to this happening often, you start to assume when you see those phrases that you are dealing with a loser. People get fired more than you know. It doesn't automatically throw you out of the running. List that you were fired and maybe put something to the side as a short (but again,honest) explanation. Fired: did not meet sales quota or Fired: not related to performance. At least it shows you are honest and aren't hiding the whole firing thing. Chances are you can explain during your interview.

Make sure your application is legible and that your information matches that of your resume (sometimes I saw people with totally different dates of employment from their resume). Always make sure to bring your resume to fill out the application, that way they match.  Make sure to list your phone numbers and emails that are the best and easiest ways to contact you.

If there is a place to put your work history (and there almost always is), do not think attaching your resume will cover that. Yes, it's duplication of information, but you're trying to impress. If you are too lazy to fill in 3 blanks about where you worked, you're way too lazy for me to hire. Ditto if it says to use a separate sheet listing other jobs (for example when you have 3 blanks on the application and have had 6 jobs). Do it!

As with your resume, be honest. Make sure that you are honest. If you will absolutely, positively NOT willing to do night shift, do not list "available for all shifts."  You will just waste the interviewer's time if they are hiring for nights. Specify in the cover letter of your resume (you did send a cover letter, didn't you??) that you are willing to work weekends or holidays, etc. to make up for your ability to only work a certain shift. If you look flexible, they are more likely to remember you the next day shift opening they have!

If you are allowed to fill out the application somewhere other than on-site, take advantage of that. Take it home, take your time and have someone proof-read it. Do not turn it in until you have everything they ask for attached. Do not attach extras (you can bring anything pertinent to your interview). Do exactly what the application says and don't add things.

Use a black pen to fill out your application (or a blue one, if you must. But never, ever, ever use a red or colored pen. It's like the colored paper. Bad idea). Make sure you sign it.

Oh, and don't come in and ask me for an application and then ask me for a pen. Seriously, you're there to get a job and know you're going to be filling out an application. If you didn't figure that would involve a pen, then I'm putting you in the mental midget category, even as a smile and hand you the pen. Trust me, I'll use the pen later, to mark your app as unacceptable!

Next up: Interviewing!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Job Hunting Tips from Your Auntie Em

I have hired and fired a large number of people throughout the years. Both as an HR-ish person for a temp agency (we hired everything from clerical personnel to substitute teachers, to factory workers to people to hand out Jelly Belly candies at the races.

I have seen resumes that ran the gamut from horrible to hilarious to works of art. I have had a man look me in the eyes and tell me he has never been arrested, then as he walked down the hall, I could see his ankle monitoring bracelet! I've had people walk out in the middle of interviews and I have had people answer a cell phone during an interview.

I have wondered so many times what on earth people are thinking. Then, I realize how very little solid advice there is out there for interviews and applications. It is amazing to me that so many articles exist telling you how to dress, but so few telling you to watch your email address. So, here's a few thoughts I've had rattling around in my brain for a long time about job searching.
Today, we are going to talk about resumes. These get you through the door. They are the first impression. Most people see your resume before they ever see or hear you. And, to be honest, we look at them for less than 5 minutes. If you pass that, we'll look more in depth. But, most resumes are chucked into the "NEVER" file in that first 5 minutes. So, work it to your advantage. You will NEVER get in the door with a crappy resume.
Physically, unless you are applying for a job in the arts, do not use colored paper. Some moron gave the advice a few years back to use bright paper or colored ink to "catch the attention:" of the hiring manager. If I see a pink piece of paper, I assume you are still in middle school and have never had a real job in your life. I do not even LOOK at your resume. It goes in the trash. Similarly, use a normal font. Times New Roman or maybe Arial. Same size throughout the resume. 

Keep the resume to one page. You can attach references or even extra info, but if your resume is more than a page, you go to the bottom of my pile. I don't have time to pick thru how many spelling bees you won in 3rd grade or to see that you were lead doughnut seller in your first job 17 years ago. Give me at least the past 3 jobs you've had (whether or not they are related to the one you are applying for) and then any that you feel have to do with the job you are applying for. 

If your resume is 11 pages long and lists every single thing you did at your job, I will get bored. You will go to the bottom of the pile. And, in the depths of my little brain, I assume you are completely full. Either of yourself or of crap. Either way, I don't like you and your huge resume. And, unless I have hit a high level of desperation, I will not be calling you. 

If you have an unprofessional sounding email, make a new one just for your resume. Gmail accounts will automatically forward to your regular email account if you'd like. What is an unprofessional email? Anything that makes you sound like you party 24/7 (nursingbabe89 is a recent one that comes to mind), that makes you sound crazy (alienabductee72 and no I'm not kidding), that gives away your ethnicity, sex, marital status, etc. (yes, it is illegal to discriminate against you for these things, but some people are jerks and will anyway. Don't make it easy for them by having an email of marriedblackguy545). Pick an email that makes no assumptions. Your names is a good one (Ralph.W.Doe@whatever.com). Do NOT use the email you have from your current job. Because when I see that, I know you are searching for your job on company time. I know that you will do the same when you work for me. 

Your phone number is very important. Most likely I will contact you that way first. List the number you are most likely to answer FIRST and give me a backup number second. Do NOT give me your work number. Again, if you are letting me call you at work, I assume you are not paying attention at your current job. 

Your phone needs to be as innocuous as your email address. I hate to hear "please enjoy the music while your party is reached." Seriously, that is something high school kids have on their phone. And, when it is that insane country song where the woman attacks her ex's car, I assume you are a redneck nutjob. If it is a Lady Gaga song, I assume you are a clubber, who will show up at work with a hangover. For the time being, change your phone to just ring. And, just give me your name and tell me to leave a message in your voicemail. Cutesy messages make me assume you are immature. If your message is your child, at least make sure you can actually understand what the kid is saying. I may assume it's you on a bender, not your two-year-old trying to say that I've reached his Mommy. Change it to whatever you want when your job search is over. But, keep it pro for the search.

Do NOT put your picture on your resume. See above about discrimination. Plus, unless you are 18 and have your class photo, how many of us have a good wallet size photo of ourselves?

Do not list your hobbies unless they have something to do with what you are applying for. I don't care if you won a 3rd place ribbon for your pies. I do care if you were the secretary for your pie baking club and did excel spreadsheets for them.

References

You have no idea how many people completely screw this up. I kid you not, I saw a resume that listed the head of the company the person was applying for as a reference. The head of the company had NEVER met this person and had no idea who they were. Turns out this guy's MOM worked as a contractor for the company and thought that since she'd met said Company Head a few times, she'd add that to his resume and make it easy for him to get the job. It got him banned from ever applying again, because if you are so stupid you list a person as a reference who doesn't know you... you are pretty much not going to be in running for Employee of the Month.

List no more than 3 references. If you have a ton, you can add the tag line "Additional references on request". Personally, I never call the resume listed references. They are hand-picked by the applicant to make them shine (unless you are the above reference idiot). I want to talk to the person's boss, or better yet, the boss's assistant. Yeah, how you treat an administrative assistant says a lot about you. And, don't think they won't dish when I ask them!

Only put references on if you have extra room. The tag line at the bottom of your resume for those is good enough. Like I said, I don't know anyone that calls the ones on your resume.

Spell check

OK, spell check has made us lazy. We assume it will fix everything. But, the simple truth is, it doesn't know WHAT word you are using. You may be trying to say that you "worked as liaison between management and employees." But, you typed "worked ass liaison" and you won't know it if you do not get someone besides yourself to go through your resume. You've been looking at the stupid thing for hours. You can't see your errors any more. So, get a smart friend (who has great grammatical and spelling skills) to proof it for you. 

Format
This is so individual, but a chronological resume is an easy read. Just list the years, the location and your position. You can clarify on your actual application or in the body of the listing for each position. 

Again, list your most current and any relevant. Even if you do not want your current employer contacted, list them. Just put to the side that you do not want them contacted. If you leave them off, I'm going to wonder why you are not employed at present.

Education
Don't list every single school ever attended. If you have a college degree, list only that. I know you graduated high school to get to college. List any certifications that are big deals. If you are a nurse, I know you are CPR certified, but I don't know that you are Critical Care certified. If you are an administrative assistant, I know that you know Excel, but I don't know that you are certified to teach it. 

Again, BE HONEST. Be concise and be neat and professional. Here's a good example of a simple resume. 

Name (First, Middle Initial Last and any professional designation letters such as RN or PhD)
Address
Email address
Phone

Objective: To obtain a job in correctional nursing, within a county jail setting. 
(Note: Make this specific to each job you apply for. Generic resumes are just that... generic. If you customize each resume, throwing in things you see in the ad, I know you paid attention)

Work History
1999-present   Nurse Manager of Psychiatric Unit     Hullbaloo Nursing Home   Kalamazoo, KY
Responsible for 43 patients and supervision of 6 nurses and 4 CNAs. Provided medications, dressing changes and administering testing. Responsible for hiring, counseling, terminating, evaluating and education of all employees on that wing. 

1994-1999     Psychiatric Nurse     Wiggly Hill Nursing Home     Gizzardville, AR
Started as floor nurse in skilled unit, then progressed to psychiatric unit. In 1996 I received advanced certification in Psychiatric Nursing. Before leaving this position, I was the relief manager over the unit. 

1990-1994     Line Cook       Wiggly Hill Diner     Gizzardville, AR
While in nursing school, I worked part time at the diner. 

Education
1994  Bachelor of Science Nursing    East Gizzard University
1996 Advanced Certification in Psychiatric Nursing from WiggaWoo Nursing 
(note: if you have tons of certifications, you may want to add a section for certs. Only list the relevant ones)

Skills
Excel, Word, Power Point and blah blah blah proficient. 
(note: only list this section if you can't work your skills into the briefs under your jobs above. You should be able to work most everything in above, but since this is a nursing resume, these skills would be something some nurses wouldn't have and that may not be a "normal" skill for nurses to have, but would be valuable).

References Available Upon Request

Up Next, how to fill out a job application (I'll give you a hint, don't dot your i's with little hearts and never say, "I'll explain in person")