I have seen resumes that ran the gamut from horrible to hilarious to works of art. I have had a man look me in the eyes and tell me he has never been arrested, then as he walked down the hall, I could see his ankle monitoring bracelet! I've had people walk out in the middle of interviews and I have had people answer a cell phone during an interview.
I have wondered so many times what on earth people are thinking. Then, I realize how very little solid advice there is out there for interviews and applications. It is amazing to me that so many articles exist telling you how to dress, but so few telling you to watch your email address. So, here's a few thoughts I've had rattling around in my brain for a long time about job searching.
I have wondered so many times what on earth people are thinking. Then, I realize how very little solid advice there is out there for interviews and applications. It is amazing to me that so many articles exist telling you how to dress, but so few telling you to watch your email address. So, here's a few thoughts I've had rattling around in my brain for a long time about job searching.
Today, we are going to talk about resumes. These get you through the door. They are the first impression. Most people see your resume before they ever see or hear you. And, to be honest, we look at them for less than 5 minutes. If you pass that, we'll look more in depth. But, most resumes are chucked into the "NEVER" file in that first 5 minutes. So, work it to your advantage. You will NEVER get in the door with a crappy resume.
Physically, unless you are applying for a job in the arts, do not use colored paper. Some moron gave the advice a few years back to use bright paper or colored ink to "catch the attention:" of the hiring manager. If I see a pink piece of paper, I assume you are still in middle school and have never had a real job in your life. I do not even LOOK at your resume. It goes in the trash. Similarly, use a normal font. Times New Roman or maybe Arial. Same size throughout the resume.
If you have an unprofessional sounding email, make a new one just for your resume. Gmail accounts will automatically forward to your regular email account if you'd like. What is an unprofessional email? Anything that makes you sound like you party 24/7 (nursingbabe89 is a recent one that comes to mind), that makes you sound crazy (alienabductee72 and no I'm not kidding), that gives away your ethnicity, sex, marital status, etc. (yes, it is illegal to discriminate against you for these things, but some people are jerks and will anyway. Don't make it easy for them by having an email of marriedblackguy545). Pick an email that makes no assumptions. Your names is a good one (Ralph.W.Doe@whatever.com). Do NOT use the email you have from your current job. Because when I see that, I know you are searching for your job on company time. I know that you will do the same when you work for me.
Keep the resume to one page. You can attach references or even extra info, but if your resume is more than a page, you go to the bottom of my pile. I don't have time to pick thru how many spelling bees you won in 3rd grade or to see that you were lead doughnut seller in your first job 17 years ago. Give me at least the past 3 jobs you've had (whether or not they are related to the one you are applying for) and then any that you feel have to do with the job you are applying for.
If your resume is 11 pages long and lists every single thing you did at your job, I will get bored. You will go to the bottom of the pile. And, in the depths of my little brain, I assume you are completely full. Either of yourself or of crap. Either way, I don't like you and your huge resume. And, unless I have hit a high level of desperation, I will not be calling you.
If you have an unprofessional sounding email, make a new one just for your resume. Gmail accounts will automatically forward to your regular email account if you'd like. What is an unprofessional email? Anything that makes you sound like you party 24/7 (nursingbabe89 is a recent one that comes to mind), that makes you sound crazy (alienabductee72 and no I'm not kidding), that gives away your ethnicity, sex, marital status, etc. (yes, it is illegal to discriminate against you for these things, but some people are jerks and will anyway. Don't make it easy for them by having an email of marriedblackguy545). Pick an email that makes no assumptions. Your names is a good one (Ralph.W.Doe@whatever.com). Do NOT use the email you have from your current job. Because when I see that, I know you are searching for your job on company time. I know that you will do the same when you work for me.
Your phone number is very important. Most likely I will contact you that way first. List the number you are most likely to answer FIRST and give me a backup number second. Do NOT give me your work number. Again, if you are letting me call you at work, I assume you are not paying attention at your current job.
Your phone needs to be as innocuous as your email address. I hate to hear "please enjoy the music while your party is reached." Seriously, that is something high school kids have on their phone. And, when it is that insane country song where the woman attacks her ex's car, I assume you are a redneck nutjob. If it is a Lady Gaga song, I assume you are a clubber, who will show up at work with a hangover. For the time being, change your phone to just ring. And, just give me your name and tell me to leave a message in your voicemail. Cutesy messages make me assume you are immature. If your message is your child, at least make sure you can actually understand what the kid is saying. I may assume it's you on a bender, not your two-year-old trying to say that I've reached his Mommy. Change it to whatever you want when your job search is over. But, keep it pro for the search.
Do NOT put your picture on your resume. See above about discrimination. Plus, unless you are 18 and have your class photo, how many of us have a good wallet size photo of ourselves?
Do not list your hobbies unless they have something to do with what you are applying for. I don't care if you won a 3rd place ribbon for your pies. I do care if you were the secretary for your pie baking club and did excel spreadsheets for them.
References
You have no idea how many people completely screw this up. I kid you not, I saw a resume that listed the head of the company the person was applying for as a reference. The head of the company had NEVER met this person and had no idea who they were. Turns out this guy's MOM worked as a contractor for the company and thought that since she'd met said Company Head a few times, she'd add that to his resume and make it easy for him to get the job. It got him banned from ever applying again, because if you are so stupid you list a person as a reference who doesn't know you... you are pretty much not going to be in running for Employee of the Month.
List no more than 3 references. If you have a ton, you can add the tag line "Additional references on request". Personally, I never call the resume listed references. They are hand-picked by the applicant to make them shine (unless you are the above reference idiot). I want to talk to the person's boss, or better yet, the boss's assistant. Yeah, how you treat an administrative assistant says a lot about you. And, don't think they won't dish when I ask them!
Only put references on if you have extra room. The tag line at the bottom of your resume for those is good enough. Like I said, I don't know anyone that calls the ones on your resume.
Spell check
OK, spell check has made us lazy. We assume it will fix everything. But, the simple truth is, it doesn't know WHAT word you are using. You may be trying to say that you "worked as liaison between management and employees." But, you typed "worked ass liaison" and you won't know it if you do not get someone besides yourself to go through your resume. You've been looking at the stupid thing for hours. You can't see your errors any more. So, get a smart friend (who has great grammatical and spelling skills) to proof it for you.
Do NOT put your picture on your resume. See above about discrimination. Plus, unless you are 18 and have your class photo, how many of us have a good wallet size photo of ourselves?
Do not list your hobbies unless they have something to do with what you are applying for. I don't care if you won a 3rd place ribbon for your pies. I do care if you were the secretary for your pie baking club and did excel spreadsheets for them.
References
You have no idea how many people completely screw this up. I kid you not, I saw a resume that listed the head of the company the person was applying for as a reference. The head of the company had NEVER met this person and had no idea who they were. Turns out this guy's MOM worked as a contractor for the company and thought that since she'd met said Company Head a few times, she'd add that to his resume and make it easy for him to get the job. It got him banned from ever applying again, because if you are so stupid you list a person as a reference who doesn't know you... you are pretty much not going to be in running for Employee of the Month.
List no more than 3 references. If you have a ton, you can add the tag line "Additional references on request". Personally, I never call the resume listed references. They are hand-picked by the applicant to make them shine (unless you are the above reference idiot). I want to talk to the person's boss, or better yet, the boss's assistant. Yeah, how you treat an administrative assistant says a lot about you. And, don't think they won't dish when I ask them!
Only put references on if you have extra room. The tag line at the bottom of your resume for those is good enough. Like I said, I don't know anyone that calls the ones on your resume.
Spell check
OK, spell check has made us lazy. We assume it will fix everything. But, the simple truth is, it doesn't know WHAT word you are using. You may be trying to say that you "worked as liaison between management and employees." But, you typed "worked ass liaison" and you won't know it if you do not get someone besides yourself to go through your resume. You've been looking at the stupid thing for hours. You can't see your errors any more. So, get a smart friend (who has great grammatical and spelling skills) to proof it for you.
Format
This is so individual, but a chronological resume is an easy read. Just list the years, the location and your position. You can clarify on your actual application or in the body of the listing for each position.
Again, list your most current and any relevant. Even if you do not want your current employer contacted, list them. Just put to the side that you do not want them contacted. If you leave them off, I'm going to wonder why you are not employed at present.
Education
Don't list every single school ever attended. If you have a college degree, list only that. I know you graduated high school to get to college. List any certifications that are big deals. If you are a nurse, I know you are CPR certified, but I don't know that you are Critical Care certified. If you are an administrative assistant, I know that you know Excel, but I don't know that you are certified to teach it.
Again, BE HONEST. Be concise and be neat and professional. Here's a good example of a simple resume.
Name (First, Middle Initial Last and any professional designation letters such as RN or PhD)
Address
Email address
Phone
Objective: To obtain a job in correctional nursing, within a county jail setting.
(Note: Make this specific to each job you apply for. Generic resumes are just that... generic. If you customize each resume, throwing in things you see in the ad, I know you paid attention)
Work History
1999-present Nurse Manager of Psychiatric Unit Hullbaloo Nursing Home Kalamazoo, KY
Responsible for 43 patients and supervision of 6 nurses and 4 CNAs. Provided medications, dressing changes and administering testing. Responsible for hiring, counseling, terminating, evaluating and education of all employees on that wing.
1994-1999 Psychiatric Nurse Wiggly Hill Nursing Home Gizzardville, AR
Started as floor nurse in skilled unit, then progressed to psychiatric unit. In 1996 I received advanced certification in Psychiatric Nursing. Before leaving this position, I was the relief manager over the unit.
1990-1994 Line Cook Wiggly Hill Diner Gizzardville, AR
While in nursing school, I worked part time at the diner.
Education
1994 Bachelor of Science Nursing East Gizzard University
1996 Advanced Certification in Psychiatric Nursing from WiggaWoo Nursing
(note: if you have tons of certifications, you may want to add a section for certs. Only list the relevant ones)
Skills
Excel, Word, Power Point and blah blah blah proficient.
(note: only list this section if you can't work your skills into the briefs under your jobs above. You should be able to work most everything in above, but since this is a nursing resume, these skills would be something some nurses wouldn't have and that may not be a "normal" skill for nurses to have, but would be valuable).
References Available Upon Request
Up Next, how to fill out a job application (I'll give you a hint, don't dot your i's with little hearts and never say, "I'll explain in person")
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